Todd McFadyen Sullivan
Comments written by Jennifer Sullivan, wife of Todd, for his memorial service November 26, 2011
Sometimes life isn’t always what you expect it to be. But in tragedy, it is amazing that it is love and compassion that are truly present. I know that it has never been more apparent in my life.
I have felt so much love and compassion from Todd, all of you, and also God. I hope each of you can feel that same love and compassion on this day.
Todd and I fell in love in the summer of 2003 a two month period we fondly called the “summer of leisure”. I had accrued seven weeks of vacation time so I was paid through the summer prior to starting graduate school at UNC Wilmington. Todd decided he was ready to move back to Fayetteville to work with his father, so he took some time off before starting his new career. I can’t recall everything we did, but it mostly consisted of walks around the loop at Wrightsville Beach, the occasional kayak trip, boat rides and dinners either he cooked or out at one of the local restaurants. Anyone that knows us well knows that when I talk about cooking it is definitely Todd cooking and not me. He was an exceptional cook. He wouldn’t dare read a recipe it was always an experiment. In all the years together, I never had one bad meal.
Todd was a simple man. What made him most happy were his friends, family, being outdoors, great music, and good wine.
Todd loved his years at Christ School with friends like Will Fountain, Scott Montgomery and Drew Hyche and his professors. He said that he learned the very most in all of his academic years during the two year period that he was afforded in Arden, NC. He would also admit it was also where he was able to get into a bit of trouble as well. He often laughed at how unhappy he was that his parents were forcing him to go to this boarding school. In the end he said it was one of the best experiences of his life. We were fortunate to visit campus often during the last eight years.
After boarding school, Todd headed to UNC Wilmingon and then ultimately moved back to the port city prior to moving back to Fayetteville in 2003. Todd loved the coastal lifestyle boating, relaxed schedules and rarely working past noon on Fridays. Melanie Mann, Trey & Andrea Morris, Hudson Smelcer and his many fraternity brothers were just a few of the friends that he stayed in touch with after college ended. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention his dear friend, Kyle Culpepper. Kyle is a kind soul that Todd could always count on.
He referred to Todd Cammack as his lifelong friend. There were periods where they were out of touch, but it was never long. They shared a love of music - such as The Band, Bob Dylan, Neal Young and others and were running buddies during their single years. It would be difficult to summarize this relationship, except that it was friendship that occurs once in a lifetime.
Speaking of Todd’s love of music and for those that knew Todd well, you probably watched Martin Scorseze’s movie “The Last Waltz” with him, which highlighted the last tour for the group The Band. I know that I have seen it no less than one hundred times. If you have seen it with him, count yourself as a good friend. He once had played one of the DVDs so much that he wore out the copy and it wouldn’t play. I knew how much he loved that movie, so I bought him two copies to ensure that he would never miss the opportunity to watch his favorite DVD again.
Todd loved the outdoors. He never enjoyed spending hours in front of the television. If he was forced to do that though, he watched television programs about the outdoors. He loved bird-hunting, fishing and being in the mountains… we often spent a week each summer in the mountains with a “no TV rule” to ensure that we could unwind from the hectic lives we lived. The only accomplishment on those vacations was finishing at least one good book. Todd usually finished two.
Todd was fortunate in that he was able to do quite a bit of traveling. Two experiences really stand out. After college, he traveled around Europe and ultimately sailed around the Greek Isles. Second and most recent, Todd and I were afforded the opportunity to travel to Zimbabwe, Africa with our dear friends Wynne and Michael Schenck. This two week adventure was nothing short of amazing.
Unfortunately, we were never able to have a family of our own, but we are fortunate to have six rugged nephews (Daniel, Patrick, Davis, Drew, Alex and Miles) and one beautiful niece, Julia. He was very fond of seeing the little boys be rough and play. He would always tell me about how he hoped that each of them would get the opportunity to go on Outward Bound or travel abroad. He had a special fondness for his niece, Julia. Julia would always be shy when she would first arrive around him, but she would quickly warm up and talk endlessly with him. By the end of most evenings, she would snuggle underneath his arm while the two of them watched a movie. He was also fortunate to be close to some of our friends’ children. Many of them called him Uncle Todd since he always made it a priority to talk and play with them. Some of them included Foster, Dailey, and Lizzie.
Todd was the baby of the family. He had great love and respect for his family including his mother (Martha), father (Bob), and two sisters, Gretchen and Karen. He was always concerned for their well-being and happiness even at the very end. They were a close family in which they were provided many opportunities from their parents. Todd was always thankful for each and every opportunity provided.
His extended family also brought him great joy. He always spoke of his relationship with his mother’s parents Marjorie and Wilbur Clark. They taught him the importance of respect and serving others. His father’s parents and siblings in Tennessee, Ralph Sullivan and Lila Meeks, also provided great pleasure when he spent summers on the farm. They taught him the importance of hard work and the satisfaction of a labor of love.
Todd and I would say that we were the parents to two dogs Molly and Gracie. We treated the dogs like children and they went everywhere we could take them. Molly was my dog that I brought into the marriage. I told Todd that we were a package deal thankfully he was ready for the whole package. He wanted to get another dog, Gracie, as a hunting companion. Unfortunately, Gracie turned out to be a 65lb. lap dog instead of a working dog. I think deep down he was ok with that. They spent many a day napping on the couch together.
Todd was a wonderful husband. Our life with cancer was really all that we knew. Todd was diagnosed just before we were engaged, so to us this was the normal of our relationship. For all of the heartache and disappointment the cancer caused, it also provided us a perspective that many are not fortunate enough to discover until much later in life. He always wanted to ensure I was taken care of he always provided me thoughtful gifts and cards with romantic messages. I can’t believe that we only had five years of marriage together. I had the gift of love from an amazing man that died to soon... But I have no regrets. He gave me a great perspective on what you should expect in life in the good and the bad. I love him very much and will miss him for the rest of my life.
